Kendra Paige Passmore is a Sexual Narcissist

When Kendra Passmore doesn't get her way she acts incredibly juvenile and will attack, shame, criticize, belittle, and mentally abuse you in retaliation until you comply with her demands!! This is exactly why Kendra has been in so many failed relationships, everything IS and MUST ALWAYS be about her and controlled by her!! 

8 Signs your in a relationship with a sexual narcissist 

Read about Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Read about Narcissistic Abuse 

Read why a Narcissist Can Dish it out but Can't Take it

How Narcissists Play the Victim and Twist the Story

Read about Emotional Manipulation

Manipulation by a Manipulator playing the Victim 

Narcissist Triangulation Tactic

Narcissist Phrases: Idealize, Devalue, Discard the Kendra Passmore way

Narrcissists Cheating Ways: Spot on Description of Kendra and how I was used and treated

Relationship between the Narcissist and Empath the Kendra Passmore story

Can't say "No" to a Narcissist like Kendra Passmore OR there are CONSEQUENCES!!

The above articles detail exactly how I was treated, shamed, and punished by Kendra Passmore or Kendra Paige Passmore. She doesn't care about anyone except herself and her own sexual gratification because she is a narcissist. She will emotionally manipulate and then shame you when you are no longer worth anything to her, but only after she plays the victim and gets as much money and material items as she can from you. She has several mental health issues stemming from what she claimed were issues of abuse from her parents, step parents, and ex-boyfriend Tyler Chavez and she uses her sexual narcissism to manipulate and control both men and women to fulfill her False Self. She views herself as "God's" gift to men and women from a sexual perspective because she sleeps around and will do and try anything sexually.

When Kendra wasn't getting her way sexually she would become extremely abusive, retaliatory, judgemental, and critical of me and my sexual performance. I became so depressed, insecure, and lost all my confidence that I began to struggle and continue to struggle mentally from her mental and emotional abuse. Kendra would criticize me or punish me if I was not performing to her sexual expectations by taking all sex and physical intimacy away from me and as I tried to correct things it got worse because I was afraid she would keep berating me if I didn't improve my performance and I was correct, she did.

Kendra and I went shopping together to two different adult sex stores and I purchased over $1500.00 in sex toys for COUPLES for us (which she believes are all hers and refuses to give back to me) and lingerie we picked out together, but to punish me further she wouldn't wear the lingerie or allow the use of many of the toys until I performed better or corrected my sexual performance issues. This type of punishment made my mental issues worse because I was constantly being judged and criticized by her. After Kendra found out in early November 2018 that I had a felony conviction when I was 19 (24 years ago) she punished me with 3 weeks of no sex. After yet another punishment in January 2019 with a week of no sex Kendra continued to constantly rub my conviction in my face to shame me, Kendra then told me several times that our sex had changed.

Our sex in fact did change because there was absolutely no reason for her to mentally abuse and punish me over and over again for my past which I had already paid my debt for (2 years of probation and 2 years with a great psychologist that ended in 1997, before Kendra was born) and moved on from 24 years ago. Kendra was just pissed that I didn't tell her about it after she "claimed" to have let me into her life and told me "everything" about her past in the first week we were dating, not all of her past of course, only the parts that tugged on my heart strings for sympathy and to manipulate me enough to think awww poor poor Kendra. The more horrible and incriminating stories and poor choices from her past came out later in our relationship, the stuff she didn't want to be "judged" for, funny how that works. Kendra used this "no sex" punishment and continued reminders of my felony as a power move to manipulate me and have leverage in our relationship. She saw that when she reminded me of my teenage conviction I would feel remorseful, embarrassed, and break down in tears which led to me doing things for her or buying her anything she wanted. When she wasn't getting her way she would retaliate and tell me of another individual she ran and told to shame and embarrass me.

My conviction however never caused Kendra to want to leave me while I was buying her what she wanted, buying items for her family, buying items for her friends, paying all the bills, taking her places and making sure she had everything she needed while she was not working and going through all of her numerous medical appointments, medical procedures, and physical therapy appointments which I was always by her side for. Kendra was anticipating surgery on her hips so she needed the money and support to get her through the possibility of a surgical procedure and recovery. I never once pushed her to get a job, but once she realized she was not a candidate for orthopedic surgery I was no longer of use to her even after she asked and I had provided the only reference for her new job that she got. Every night when we would go to bed Kendra asked me to pray out loud for her to get the new job and I did for almost three weeks. The day after she got the job she left me. I guarantee that if she would have needed surgery she would have kept me around to baby her and take care of her through her recovery like I always did with all of her other medical and psychological needs because her family sure as hell never showed up to help her because I was here being punished, manipulated, abused, used, and taken advantage of.

During this three week "no sex" punishment she asked me to buy jewelry (Alex and Ani bracelets) for her grandmother and step mother, so I did. She asked me to buy flowers for her grandmother, so I did. Also during this 3 week punishment period Kendra asked me several times if I had met with a travel agent to book a trip somewhere warm for us during Christmas break. For further punishment Kendra told me I couldn't attend Thanksgiving with her family but she later reversed that decision and allowed me to drive and arrive separately later in the week. Kendra was staying with her mom prior to my arrival but since I was staying in the best hotel in Peoria Kendra immediately packed her items and came to the hotel and stayed with me as soon as I arrived in Peoria and checked in. Even though she was still mad at me and I was still being punished it was certainly alright for her to use any resources that I paid for and provided. This was 8 days after discussing my felony with her mental health counselor and almost 3 weeks since she was initially made aware of my teenage conviction.

The night of Thanksgiving 2018 she asked her father and step mother's permission to allow her 11 year old little brother, Cole, to spend the night with us so he could swim and play board games. They immediately said yes and Cole spent the night. We took him to Walmart and I got him anything he needed for the overnight stay. The interesting part was Kendra asked for their permission but never discussed this plan or addressed it with me to see if it was alright. I was always expected to share everything with Kendra and her family, which I did, however Kendra was always allowed to withhold and take anything she wanted from me. So even though I had reserved and paid for the hotel room Kendra reserved the right to make the decisions because that insured the decision would benefit her and her family.

After her father and step-mother said yes, Kendra then looked at me and said "That's alright isn't it?" How do I say anything but "Yes" in that type of situation, her little brother was already too excited to stay? Yet again Kendra was in control of the decision making and I was just the money. The following morning her little brother and I went to the hotel lobby and grabbed breakfast for all 3 of us. If I am such a horrible person why would Kendra invite her little brother to stay with us and allow him to go with me alone to get breakfast in the morning while she slept? When we went shopping later that day it was very cold out and Kendra's little brother was under dressed so when we were by a Dick's Sports store I bought her brother a new North Face winter coat so he would be warm and have something for future use. While at Dick's Kendra also asked me to buy her more soft, warm socks, so I did. That same weekend, while at the hotel, I had also surprised Kendra with a Drybar curling iron she had been wanting for awhile. Once again I am such a horrible person for caring about her and her brother. I always treated both of her brothers well and supported their interests and education. Kendra's step-mother, Erin Passmore, had even commented several times that I was a good role model for Cole because of the way I dressed and supported his education. Several times during our relationship Kendra told me not to do anything that would cause her to brake up with me because both of her brothers liked me very much. So she then tries to cheat on me and gets caught and then breaks up with me and that was all my fault, explain that to me?

After Thanksgiving we rushed to Davenport to get a Christmas tree for both of us to have and enjoy for our first Christmas together, however just like everything else I purchased for "us" Kendra kept it due to her selfishness and greed. I then spent several hundred dollars on expensive Hallmark ornaments and decorations for "us" and again she took everything and uses the "it was a gift" claim. Many items that I purchased for "us" or were all together mine she kept and plays the "it was a gift" game. It was never implied verbally or in writing that many items that I purchased for "us" were gifts to her, they were for "us", I paid for them, Kendra is a liar and a selfish thief. She even kept the items that her family gave me for Christmas and my birthday. It disgusts me that since Kendra's parents didn't buy her what she wanted and didn't make her a priority over her brothers when she was younger she used and manipulated me to get everything she wanted. She played the victim by always being sick or hurt and placing a tremendous amount of guilt on my shoulders for everything she told she endured from her past and then mentally abused me and exploited my past for her gain.

Also during the three week punishment I found that Kendra was masturbating with one of the 5 vibrators that she had. I viewed that as degrading and as my sexual replacement so my depression became even worse. Here I was still being punished for no reason for my past from 24 years ago and to degrade me even more she uses a vibrator over me. When I asked her what she thought about when she masturbated she told me one time she thought about sucking my dick and a second time she told me she thought about being with other women, because she is bisexual, wow thanks!!

While having sex one afternoon, 5 days before she was made aware of my conviction, Kendra told me I could take pictures of her during sex to use for masturbating because I was only allowed to think about her and look at pictures of her if I wanted to masturbate. I chose not to take the pictures and two months later in our relationship she wanted me to pay $165.00 for her to go have sexually explicit photos taken in the lingerie that she was using to manipulate and punish me with. She wanted me to use those pictures of her to masturbate with as well. I was so disgusted with this request after how she was manipulating me, shaming me sexually, and punishing me that I had her cancel the photo shoot after initially saying yes.

After the cancellation Kendra was pissed and about a week later I found she was hiding a vibrator in the bathroom under the sink. One afternoon she said she wanted to take a shower alone. This was suspicious since she always wanted to shower together and have sex in the shower. When she entered the bathroom she locked the door which was unlike her and as I listened at the door I heard her take the vibrator out of the package and get in the shower. After her shower I confronted her about it and asked her why she kept hiding her masturbating from me. I told her it made me feel absolutely worthless but she didn't care how I felt at all, everything was about her, specifically her sexual needs.

On a separate occasion while taking a shower with her she noticed I didn't have an erection from seeing her naked as we showered and she exclaimed "Is that a you thing!" I thought the comment was abrasive and unnecessary and when I told her how I felt she got pissed at me because I was being honest with her but that doesn't matter to her, it is always all about her!! I felt she was comparing me to other sexual partners by the comment which I told her but she felt because I didn't have an erection I wasn't attracted to her. Everything was always about her and when she didn't get her way or feel sexually desired I was criticized, shamed, or punished then told what I had to say or do to make her feel sexually desired.

During the first several weeks of classes for Kendra in January 2019 she was given a questionnaire about her sexual relationship. This was for a class she was taking and while she filled it out I was sitting with her going through the questions. She gave the highest scores to herself for sexual performance then gave medium to low scores for my sexual performance. When the questions asked for the males perspective on the females sexual performance Kendra would not let me answer the questions, she answered for me without discussion and again gave herself all the highest scores. After she scanned the document in and sent it to her instructor the paper disappeared. Later in the week I was taking out the recycling and found that Kendra had intentionally placed the sexual questionnaire document all the way to the bottom of the recycling container. I saw it, grabbed it out, and held on to it as proof of how narricisstic she is.

Kendra wonders why I began to have and continue to have sexual issues, maybe it was pushing me away with the unnecessary 3 week punishment of no sex, maybe it was pushing me away again and punishing me with no sex for another week in January 2019, maybe it was the repeated harsh sexual criticism and judgement over and over, maybe it was being degraded when she was hiding her masturbating and I was in the other room, maybe it was running and telling friends, her mother, and your mental health counselor about my sexual issues behind my back, maybe it was yelling at me about my sexual issues in front of your mental health counselor and shaming me, or maybe it was the attempt to cheat on me, or maybe just maybe it was her selfishness, narcissism, and lack of caring for the person who gave her so much and did so much for her because she was just using me for money and once the money was gone so was Kendra!!!!

The week of our 5 month anniversary I caught her sharing 55 texts over two weekends with her ex-boyfriend, Tyler Chavez, to meet him at his place to have sex the week of Valentine's Day 2019. In the texts she told him that she was over me, wanted to suck his dick, wanted to get bent over by him, was horny for him all week, missed him no matter what, and asked him if he thought their sex was good. After finding these extremely sexual texts I was not allowed to discuss the cheating or punish Kendra at all because her bad behavior was to be rewarded, with gifts or a trip. She actually asked me if I was going to propose to her 5 days after I caught her arranging a time to go fuck her ex-boyfriend, Tyler.

Throughout our relationship Kendra bad mouthed Tyler and always told me how bad he treated her. One of her 3 mental health counselors told her to stay away from him after they broke up in April 2018 when she checked herself into a hospital for suicidal ideation because of him. In the texts they shared I found that she was still initiating contact and having sex with Tyler even after her mental health counselor told her to stay away after she was released from the hospital. I also found out she had sex with him the same week she asked me out for drinks, she was 19, and we went on our first date on 9/6/2018.

Kendra then began to shame me for my physical appearance, stating that I wasn't muscular enough and I needed to workout more to boost my testosterone level to increase my sex drive. After our conversation I went and got a membership to a gym and began working out again after taking a few months off. She was now comparing me both physically and sexually to former boyfriends which led to more depression. She is only 21 and has been in more relationships and hookups to fuck people than I can count.

She not only manipulated me emotionally, shamed me sexually and physically but she also played the victim and gave me this grandiose story of everything she had been through in her life and how her parents/step-parents and Tyler didn't treat her well and buy her the things she wanted. Since I loved her and had a soft spot in my heart for her and felt guilty because of her tragic story I gave her whatever material items she wanted, asked for, and begged for to remedy the pain she claimed her parents, step-parents, and Tyler caused her. This totaled over $30,000.00 in 5 months just for her and there were thousands more spent on her family and friends.

I lost everything I had by being manipulated with her poor me, poor little girl story, feeling guilty about her past, and feeling guilty about my past because of Kendra shaming me by telling other's and putting me down about my conviction from 24 years ago and rubbing it in my face. As Kendra sat in the room when we met with Paul on November 16, 2018 she heard me tell him that I don't speak of my past because it was just that, MY PAST, I took care of my shit, I paid my debt, I moved on, it didn't define me, it was an embarrassing chapter of my life, and the stigma associated with it caused people to unfairly judge me. So what did Kendra do both before and after the meeting, she judged me, criticized me, told people to embarrass and humiliate me, and then used my past against me to manipulate me, shame me, and have leverage in our relationship. This went on for 3-4 months after this meeting.

Two weeks after I caught her trying to cheat she broke up with me, ran to Iowa City Police, and told them I was abusive to her, lie after lie because she doesn't tell the entire story. Kendra told me at the beginning of our relationship she didn't want to be treated differently because of the mental health issues she suffered from and told me all about, for more sympathy. In her immature, ignorant, underdeveloped 21 year old brain, any type of conversation we had where I was honest with her about double standards or issues I saw in our relationship she always viewed it as judgment or criticism which to her was abusive. This is because individuals with narcissistic personality disorder are hypersensitive to anything they perceive as criticism or judgment. Having an honest open conversation was fine for Kendra when she was picking me apart, judging me, shaming me, or criticizing me, but if I was ever honest at all with anything pertaining to Kendra she lectured me or would ask for "alone time" and I had to leave or go sleep in my car. The request for "alone time" after an open honest conversation is just an excuse for "I can't handle when people tell me the truth about myself." At one point in our relationship I had to have the "Please" and "Thank You" talk with her, a 20 year old, because none or her many requests ever included that courtesy. I believe most people are taught "Please" and "Thank you" when they are 2 years old, this is just another reflection of Kendra's piss poor upbringing by her cheap, self centered mother, Nikole Ouellette, who was never there for her.

Throughout our relationship there were very different rules. Kendra COULD lie (I was asked to lie for her several times to her family, landlord, and friends), judge, criticize, shame, belittle, punish, yell, cut me off in conversation, cheat, or flirt with other men but if I did any of those things, especially look at or think about another woman (which I never did), I was punished and either given a lecture or ended up out in my car to sleep for the night because she needed "alone time." Keep in mind this is Iowa and most of those nights were 15 to 20 degrees below zero during the time we dated.

Kendra always felt it was alright to discuss and tell everyone my personal business and things that I discussed with her in private but when it came to discussing anything about her or what she was saying about people or what she had done I was warned to keep my mouth shut or told to lie about it. Throughout our relationship Kendra routinely bad mouthed her "friend's" Mariah Banta and Heather Campbell, her father, her mother, her ex-boyfriend Tyler Chavez, and Paul Schellenberg, her mental health counselor. She said several times that Heather was just using her for her car and that she was sick of all the "Black/Racial Stuff" Heather posted on Facebook.

I lost everything in this relationship, my finances are completely depleted, my mental well being is trash, my self worth is gone, and my confidence is zero. I cry when I look in the mirror because of what she told me about my physical appearance and I am so afraid to be in another relationship or look at another woman because of how Kendra shamed me, punished, and berated me sexually that all I do is contemplate suicide. People who are broken from mental/emotional abuse like Kendra claimed to be from her parents, step-parents, and Tyler DO NOT do this to other human beings. People who are TOXIC, EVIL, SELFISH, and NARCISSISTIC do!!! This is what NARCISSISTIC ABUSE is !!!